Thursday, January 29, 2009

Climate change

In a recent survey of more than 3,000 scientists in the US, 97 percent of climatologists believed that humans play a role in climate change. However, only 47 percent of petroleum geologists and 64 percent of meteorologists believe humans contributed to climate change. It figures. Petroleum geologists look at things on a geologic timescale and are probably biased to the oil and gas industry, while meteorologists study short-term weather and not long-term climate.

Al Gore is pushing the US to do more to combat climate change. He says the US needs to join international talks on a climate change treaty. He says we will soon reach a point of irreversible damage to the climate if we don't do anything now. It might already be too late anyway. The global climate is going bonkers just like the financial system.

I just drove to Ipoh and back for the CNY celebration and burned over 30 litres of petrol for the return trip. I haven't calculated how many kilos of carbon dioxide I generated. Oh well, family time takes precedence over saving the planet, no? Besides, our dependence on fossil fuels is simply all-pervasive. What do you expect me to do? Cycle to Ipoh?

Don't buy any property near sea level unless you want a waterfront. Imagine, places like Penang, Klang, Melaka, Johor Baru, Kota Baru and even Shah Alam could be underwater if the sea level rises.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ecownomics 201

SOCIALISM : You have 2 cows, so you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you
some milk.

FASCISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you
some milk.

NAZISM : You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM : You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM : You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION : You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION : You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION : You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION : You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows because you're sobering up and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION : You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINA CORPORATION : You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

A BRITISH CORPORATION : You have two cows. Both are mad.

I received this forwarded in my email sometime ago. Consume at your own risk.

Sunday, January 25, 2009


Happy 牛 (Niu) Year!

May you be beefed up in the year ahead as we moove into a new era of challenges and opportunities.

Avoid ox-orbitant expenditures unless you're spending on other people.

Please respect one another, and try not to bulldoze your way ahead just to milk your profits.

I will not be cowed by your ox-ymoronic bovine intentions.

Put your trust in God and not in bullish markets. The golden cow is just a parad-ox.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Political Signs 101

The nation of Israel:

a. is still the chosen people of God (God still has special plans for them).

b. has been replaced by the Church in the New Covenant.

c. is public enemy #1 of the Arabs and Palestinians.

d. is just another country on Earth.

This is not a trick question. Your answer will determine how you respond to the present crisis in Gaza and many other events in the Middle East throughout history.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Boycott yourself

There have been calls by certain quarters to boycott American and Israeli products in protest of their duplicity and complicity in perpetrating the crisis in Gaza. But I'm wondering how to boycott. Should we throw out our Dell and HP laptops? Rip out our Intel chips? Uninstall Microsoft Windows? Throw away Sunkist oranges? Stop using Pantene shampoo? Resist Pringles potato chips? Lose the iPod? Cut up our Citibank credit cards? Resign from FedEx? Just don't buy Nike? Sell off our Chevrolets? Not fly United? Not love McDonald's? Dump Motorola phones? Stop drinking Coke? Don't watch CNN? Avoid Hollywood movies? Flush away Starbucks? Withdraw from Facebook?

An iPhone is designed in America, made in China, most probably using Japanese, Korean and Taiwanese components.

In this globalized world, I wonder who is boycotting who.