Friday, June 15, 2007

Gender imbalance?

1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out to lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20, even though it's only $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and no one will actually admit he wants change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.

5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

10. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their dentist appointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


6 comments:

nicole said...

so not true! obviously a guy wrote this :p

HL said...

haha, obviously. it's a bit of an exaggeration.

little black dress said...

2 things,
if a man only has a toothbrush, razor, shaving cream, bar of soap and a towel, where's the toothpaste?
and.. women deteriorate during the nite? and we regenerate in the morning? is that how it works?
i've seen men waking up scruffy, blurry, messed-up and NOT as good looking as they went to bed !! ;P

HL said...

The toothpaste ran out.

Haha, the so-called observations are meant to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Duh Dweller said...

14. CRITICAL CAMERA DECISION
A woman takes a day
A man takes an eternity :)(pinch of salt added)

HL said...

Haha, it feels like an eternity when one can't wait. Yet it passes in but a blink of an eye.